I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
this just has baby written all over it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
