I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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