we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
