well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
