Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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