Where is the hickey?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
