I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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