So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
