My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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