Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
