shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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