I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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