he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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