Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
