We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
