how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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