Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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