There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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