so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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