question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
