He is an equal opportunity slut.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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