i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
