I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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