She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She bit a glass in half.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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