those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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