yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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