I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
