dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
