dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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