Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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