well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well I just put wine in my tea
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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