He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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