if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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