I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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