I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
