the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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