i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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