i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
