Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
