no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
this hospital has no fireball
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
