Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
