In the future we'll all be gay
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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