i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
