Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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