so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize