Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
