I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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