So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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