Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
