i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So much rum. So many feels.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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