i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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