planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
