I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's official drugs can't kill me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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