As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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