she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
