i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
