And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
