ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
God, I missed his penis.
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