Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
