Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.

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(858): View more from California

I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.

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These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me

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(760): View more from California

when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.

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