Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.

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  (718): Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie. http://tfl.nu/tjzl
  Replies (3) Good night (2276) Bad night (722)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.

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  (913): You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion. http://tfl.nu/50jg
  Replies (86) Good night (3465) Bad night (778)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.

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  (608): i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross. http://tfl.nu/qmd2
  Replies (19) Good night (709) Bad night (2969)
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  (909): View more from California

  She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.

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  (909): She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle. http://tfl.nu/v9v9
  Replies (4) Good night (4058) Bad night (1156)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him

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  (850): if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him http://tfl.nu/ohx4
  Replies (4) Good night (2412) Bad night (1787)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant

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  (812): So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant http://tfl.nu/h2w3
  Replies (19) Good night (1247) Bad night (2985)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.

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  (289): The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am. http://tfl.nu/r9i0
  Replies (7) Good night (1620) Bad night (929)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob

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  (440): I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob http://tfl.nu/pg2m
  Replies (13) Good night (2864) Bad night (729)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.

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  (515): Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type. http://tfl.nu/lvgz
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (680)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.

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  (830): Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it. http://tfl.nu/ngu5
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (478)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Did you at least offer to let him get it out??

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  (901): I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment. (662): Did you at least offer to let him get it out?? http://tfl.nu/gv0l
  Replies (4) Good night (912) Bad night (483)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.

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  (786): Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel. http://tfl.nu/klyg
  Replies (0) Good night (347) Bad night (511)
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  (510): View more from California

  I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...

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  (510): I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high... http://tfl.nu/gsz5
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (346)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?

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  (407): How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night? http://tfl.nu/3g7c
  Replies (8) Good night (647) Bad night (496)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.

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  (941): With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting. http://tfl.nu/hc07
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (292)

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