Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You were trust falling into bushes