Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
And then he peed in my hair
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