bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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