sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
