I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize