You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she smelled like a LAN party
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
