I just made out with a guy for $7.
no, he came in my armpit
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
