Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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