That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
